Natural Born Liar by Noire

Author:Noire [NOIRE]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
ISBN: 9780758266088
Publisher: Dafina
Published: 2012-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 23

Bunni went with Pilar, Fallon, and Carla downstairs to the snack bar, and I was sitting in the hospital waiting room watching TV with some of the little kids.

“The results are in,” Maury said as a hush fell over the crowded studio. The jump-off sitting on the stage laughed and looked like she just knew what the fuck she knew.

“Please, please, please, please!” a young dude sitting across from her with cute cornrows in his hair whispered as he stared down Maury’s throat like he was praying the right words would pop outta Maury’s mouth. Another guy wearing a fitted and some baggy jeans sat next to him and he was getting tested too. A picture of a sleeping baby girl came on the screen, and mug shots of both of the could-be daddies was posted up on either side of her.

“In the case of two-month-old baby Taiquanapaula ... Taiquan, you are ... but wait!” Maury faked us, going for the stall. “Taiquan, if you are the father of this precious little girl, are you planning to take care of her?”

“Hell yeah!” he lied. “I’ma man-up and handle minez!”

Maury turned to the trifling-ass baby mama who sat there in a halter with a muffin top spilling over her belt. “If he is your baby’s father, do you still want to be with him?”

Dummy hunched her shoulders.

“Okay, in the case of two-month-old baby Taiquanapaula ... Taiquan, you are NOT the father!”

Dude jumped outta his chair and leaped off the stage. He started happy dancing all in the aisles and dapping dudes in the crowd like crazy. “I TOLD you! I TOLD you! That baby don’t look nothing like me! That baby got chubby cheeks and my face is real skinny! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I TOLD you!”

“But wait, we have a second test,” Maury said as he calmed the crowd down. “We have a second test!”

This time, Baby-Mama-Jump-off squinched her eyes closed and crossed her fingers as she waited for the second bomb to drop.

Maury turned to the other dude, who was now looking scared as fuck, and continued. “In the case of baby Taiquanapaula. . . Paul ... you are NOT the father!”

Mami fell dead outta her chair. She rolled over on her stomach and started kicking her feet and banging her head and fists on the floor.

Paul jumped off the stage too. Him and Taiquan started doing the Kid ’n Play foot dance as the crowd chanted, “Do that shit! Do that shit! Yeah! Do that shit! Do that shit!”

“Them boys got lucky, didn’t they?”

I looked up and saw a tall hunk of black dude who had come into the room. He looked like a gangsta cowboy. He had on a spotless white Stetson, some starched black jeans, and a real sharp white shirt with black lanyard trim.

“Yeah, they did,” I laughed. “Baby-mama-drama all day long.”

“You got any kids?”

I gave him the look. “Do baby boogers go with my dress?”

He laughed and sat down next to me. His skin was real smooth, and his mustache was jet-black and sharply trimmed.

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